reciprocity

Posted by vinx on Mar 26, 2010 in Blog | 1 comment

Hello again, I am really sorry to the readers who keep visiting this lonely blog page. Because of my absence I have to blame my life, furthermore I have been able to think a lot about too many things.

I’m having some kind of a hard lifetime, indeed. But my fragile spirit keeps itself loaded with good intentions and proposals. I have been jogging for a while in order to keep the bad thoughts away, and putting all of my energies into work it kinda helps. Still it’s difficult to fall asleep and get yourself comfortable in front of the mirror when it’s you and you alone to have a speech with your mind. I’ve figured out how deeply we are in need of approvals from everybody: every time we look ourselves in the mirror, every time we cross a street and get our image reflected in some shop glasses, every single time we put our keys in the car door. We’re insecure and we’re afraid to discover something wrong might be going on.

Well here it’s the big news: nothing wrong is going on. It’s just life. We’re part of it and that’s it.

I also realized that talking to strangers sometimes it’s more useful than talking to very close friends: think about it. When you are with a person you barely know you tend to simplify your subjects in order to make him/her perfectly understand the basic evolutions of your story, plus you can get a very objective opinion of the whole situation. Put it like this: “hey would you tell me if the picture is straight?”. When you’re about to put some pictures on your apartment walls you’re generally too close to it to get a fair point of view of the position and correction. If somebody is helping you out with this, you just need to know if everything is cool, correct, Ok. You won’t bother or be bothered by talking about the origin of the pic or why it fits or not inside the room. You just need one simple information and you get it.

When close friends know you for a long time, they generally may fall in this mistaking whirl called “habit”. Let me explain it better: if somebody knows you very well he/she will hardly recognize you when you’re really changing. Like let’s say you get a lot of grey hair coming up, or your face is getting older. It’s normal, it’s time. But they won’t figure it out ’till they get an old photo of yours and say “how much you have changed”. Same for our life troubles: to accept that somebody is changing is really hard. It’s really difficult to put an effort in this and to reset your perception of the people you love cause you may find out you don’t like them anymore. It’s too simple to adjust your friendships on people that are exactly the way you want them to be. So when you’re needing help you don’t get helped. It’s like they’re trying to help a YOU that no longer exists or that is about to end. They’re commenting on something they don’t clearly see. This is it.

As I’ve said, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Have you?